Piece by piece, I'm losing the man I was.
I can feel the echoes of Leonesse snuffing out like the embers of a quenched flame. These echoes are all that remain of my childhood before Amber, years that even I find challenging to remember. I paint the castle that was my home for those first few years, and can barely remember the color of the pennons that flapped in the summer wind. It was the home that my mother had built for me, and it had never occurred to me that it might not one day be there any more. Now, it is gone, and even my memories of it are fading.
My ship is gone, along with the crew who had served with me for centuries. Their faces are fading from my memory, along with their voices. All that is left are their names, names I never forget. Funny, after we are dead, the echoes of our voices in the minds of those we touched might be the only trace we ever were there. Should we fail in our task, then will the Unicorn remember us? Will the Eagle?
I occurs to me now how brilliant Dworkin truly was. You were the instrument of the Unicorn, leaving its champion to rule. What if it had been Jubei who found your body first? Would he stand now where I stand, trapped in the stronghold of our adversary? Only Virgil and Iain know where I am, but I suppose they are the only ones who care. I miss Alanna. I miss Alexander and Elizabeth. I miss my ship. I miss my home. I miss my anger, even.
I do not know who the man I am becoming is, but I pray to the Unicorn that whoever he is, whatever he does? He does it well, and when he comes to his end, he dies well.
Unicorn, I hate waiting.