These recent events bring me back to that very book I saw from the world I conquered. Such simple, mortal words, yet even in these times of change, of dissonance, I find them... Refreshing.
"I wearied myself searching for the Friend with efforts beyond my strength. I came to the door and saw how powerfully the locks were bolted. And the longing in me became that strong, and then I saw I was gazing from within the presence. With that waiting, and in giving up all trying, only then did time flow out from where I knelt."
-Mortal Writer
It is these times when I think, should I have wrought their world to destruction? It is then when I turn, smile to myself and simply say. "Yes... Yes I should.".
This whole thing is stupid. I'm on a giant spacetopus and everything is trying to kill me. Just when I think I think something is finally going right, BAM, something stupid happens and something else tries to kill me. I'm beginning to think no one likes me very much. Thats ok though, I have Art World. Oh. Did I mention I hate Anna Lee? Like. Really, REALLY, hate her. I could of killed her, I don't know why I didn't. I think I'm going to chalk it up to things trying to kill me. She's stupid-idy-stupid all the time. Her face makes my face hurt from STUPID. Stupid.
As I watch all these events unfold, I continue to think back to a time where I once read a book from a Shadow I happened to be conquering, a poem still stands out in my head.
Her strong enchantments failing, Her towers of fear in wreck, Her limbecks dried of poisons And the knife at her neck,
The Queen of air and darkness Begins to shrill and cry, "O young man, O my slayer, To-morrow you shall die."
O Queen of air and darkness, I think 'tis truth you say, And I shall die tomorrow; But you will die to-day.
This has come to mean many different things to me, but in the end, the very last lines I find are what matter most. Though, I wonder how long it will take before those ghosts realize their already dead.
A life is such a fickle thing, waxing and waning like the moon and sometimes just gone altogether. That today is meaningless before me. Today I shall be the reason that life disappears, by my own hand I will finally rid myself of that stupid and self-righteous prick they call my brother. Emerick will finally be wiped from the face of existence... By my hands. It brings me nothing but joy, recompense, and what is rightfully owed to me. The unquestionable position of the faithful son.... Though this brings the thought, what being could my mother possibly have copulated with to bring into existence such baboonery, such mentally damaged goods such as he? I can only imagine one reason for such an existence. This has all been a test for me to over come, that my mother had thought of the ultimate test of will, of final training is for me to end his life.... Yes... That must be it.
Your time has run out Emerick....
Mine has just begun.
(So if it is supposed to be about an actual player amberite, then definitely Stephen. Garrick never forgets such insolence as he showed to Garrick's people. Friendships can sustain lives, but grudges can see them grow.) :P
When history changes greatly. Razqriz reveals itself. First as an evil demon.
With its power. The demon brings death to the world. Then it dies.
When it's sleep ends. Razgriz rises again. As a great hero.
Here the truth lies.
These words continue to go through my head. Since the moment my children sang them, nothing I can think of makes sense, yet it does. The possibilities. It drives me into fits of laughter, a form of hysteria, still. These final moments will be quite grand. Excitement. Yes... Thats what this feeling must be.
What are my brain dead brothers and sisters doing? Let alone their daft headed spawns. I have left them alone for but a time and they have let reality go to hell. They sit around squabbling with each other, scheming, crying, playing with dolls, all the while they forget the most basic answer to everything. Crush it. Show your enemy, your problem no mercy and deal with it the most assured way any of us should know how. Erase it from existence with power.
Elmdore has decided to play King in father's absence, running about thinking he knows how to run a kingdom, leaving one of his SONS to deal with these messes that HE has let build up. At least he finally pulled out some backbone. Khan had apparently decided to deal with things himself, taking the throne from Elmdore... At least attempting it. It would seem though that both Khan and Peregrine were fools, weaklings. I'm disgusted to call myself their blood relations. They couldn't even deal with that simple minded book worm, sure he has his tricks, but all that means is you need a bigger net to catch him, and a bigger paddle to squash him. Honestly, I'm quite disappointed in Khan, no matter, I was going to kill him at some point anyways.
It turns out Annalee isn't even an Amberite? There should be one simple answer to that. Oh? Someone has been lying and deceiving us and is actually a spawn of the very enemy we are fighting? Two options. Kill her or use and exploit her and kill her when she is no longer needed. Not even my sons have done this, it would seem I need to teach them some more.
Emeric... Running about, following Astrid like a sad puppy. That disgusts me. I will see to these delusions of his, unless he has an absolutely good reason for doing so, even though I am confidant he does not, I will take care of it myself...The best way I know how. Through force. Garrick, sweet, deluded Garrick. He strives so hard to please me, despite failing most of the time. He at least has amassed something, visions, plans for the future. He has such potential, sharing so many similar ideals to my own. He isn't me of course, but he does try to get even remotely similar, which holds promise.
I will have to see how he does, watch him, teach him, and mold him to my desires. If he lives of course. Good boy. Now go kill that creature that doesn't exist... Before I do.
I have so, so, many people to pay visits to. I feel as if I am receiving visions of the future... Yes... Yes I can see it now. Everything is tinted in... Blood. Such a lovely color.
Its Time to Redecorate.
^ What I believe Talwyn thinks of the current happenings in Shadow :)
"She is safe... No. She is with me. Such long time it has taken me to retrieve you. Have no fear my most beloved, you rest within my silence and I carry your obsessions." - Garrick spoke, staring at his mother within the tardis, awaiting the others to return. He smiled, no, he laughed, such a jovial sound, an echo of laughter. Yet no sense remorse crossed even a single brow. It was then that they appeared. Glowing orbs, flowing from his sleeves, floated out in front of him, surrounded in luminescence. More and more poured from Garrick's clothes, surrounding him in a synchronized unison.
He didn't stand, he didn't shout, Garrick simply smiled. "Tell me a story my children... Tell me... Tell me a tale while I wait. A one of meaning, a tale that relates to my soul, to my existence. Spin to me my fortune, the foundation, the mandate of my actions.". A smile, still dancing across his lips.
The glowing lights, waned and kindled in a multitude of colors, soft musical notes echoing their intended excitement. Then they answered in one grand voice, the glow of colors shifting to each note of their words. "As you wish father.". And so they told Garrick a tale:
Sedated are his senses, by her fragrance entranced, Lingering in his memory, his senses she commands, Intoxicated by the scent of her persona, he wanders Vagabond his spirit, through the mist meanders. Emerging from the haze then, into the night, Revealing himself to the Huntress’s sight. Slowly the clouds engulf her in that moment,
Obscuring, as if a dream her presence, in an instant. Frozen, a crystal, in his mind that glimpse embeds,
To enrich his thoughts eternally, her memory never fades. Higher he ascends into the ether she perfumed, Enamoured he remains, by her charisma, consumed.
Seeking her, he ventures forth, into the forest of dreams, Allured into its milieu, by these unending streams. Flowing perennial through this realm illusive, Flowering in it, such blossoms, exclusive. Rewarded by the adventures this journey has presented, Offering him those experiences, that fantasy has created. Never losing sense, of the passion he pursues,
Surrendering to the huntress alone, he continues. Under the foliage of imagination, that is the forest, Nurtured by the aspirations of each measure purest.
Onwards the forest, into the mist dissolves, Near yet far, he stares as the summit evolves
Solitary he roams, no destination in sight, Invisible to his eyes, she leads him to light, Leaving the wonders, in which his senses delight. He hears in the distance, sounds of the spray splash, Onto the coast as those, tumultuous waves crash. Underneath those waves, lies the sea’s tranquility, Entering into this world, he imbibes its oceanic quality. The immensity of that silence disperses thought, The nothingness, the void, the presence, that is naught. Evaporating into the air the ocean transforms, Suddenly, into a fog, that transcends through the storms.
Observing in nature such eccentricity, Fathoming in the depth, its, simplicity.
Through this cloud, again he perceives her, Her scent, her voice, her spirit; so near. Elation resurfaces from within his soul,
Surging through him, once again he feels whole. His passions were but, the duties of his desire, An insight, she gifted, as a magical souvenir. Duty and passion complete each other, One shall drive while, the other deliver. Wisps of the mist now caress his face, Softly it surrounds him in an icy embrace.
Sublimely the vapour transforms and blends, Into the mist he merges, a new dimension transcends. Lost in an abstraction, the huntress, he has sought, in Every realm sensed, by his perception and thought. Now enveloped in the ether, the truth to him dawns The huntress accompanies as his soul companion.
~His children spoke in unison, their voice a shadowed echo bouncing from the walls. In the end Garrick looked shallow, a shadow of his own falling over him. He said only this.
"I was afraid of that. But I would hate to disappoint.". That grin crawling over his face once more. The glowing orbs of lights swirled about him in a whirlwind of light and color, sifting back into the very fabrics of Garrick's being.
The door to the Tardis opened. The others had returned and there sat Garrick. Grinning to himself and holding his mother. A whisper passed his lips.
"Here lies the body of this world, Whose soul alas to hell is hurled. This golden youth long since was past, Its silver manhood went as fast, An iron age drew on at last; 'Tis vain its character to tell, The several fates which it befell, What year it died, when 'twill arise, We only know that here it lies."
~Marked and written upon the tapestries in the Archives of Holmgard, etched in a silver glow.
These same words have recently been muttered by Garrick. Where he stands, staring off in thought, such words escape his lips, in telling, in passing, yet always a whisper.
Without it, we are doomed to face lives of uncertainty, misery, lives of misunderstandings. It is the building block to success, layer after layer unifying into a single grand structure of truth. I have sought such things, I am an architect, and I shall build such knowledge that in the underlying structure, all we will see is truth. Who's truth is an entirely different story, but it will be there none the less.
Terridus. He will learn, he needs to learn. He MUST be ready. Others flock to him for leadership, for guidance, yet all of them have their own agendas. He sits in a room where everyone wears masks, disguising the fact that it is but a nest of vipers. He may be older, but he has much more to learn, many of them do. I will be there to point them in a direction, which direction will be up to them. Blood of my blood, I offer my help. Blood of my friend, I offer unity. Blood of my enemy, I offer sanctuary. Blood of the lost.... I will find you.
Knowledge, truth, honor. None of it matters. I seek what I do not know and no longer need it once I do. I have been offered a path way, a road to that what I seek. For what? The death of one of my blood? It shall be done.
Or will it? Injustice. Law. Judgement. These are things I am not fit to perform, to act upon. But I can find the truth... I can find out the factual understandings and from there share it with the world. Treason... By law it is death. By judgement we enact laws. In the end it is still death.
If not by divine mandate, then by purpose of will. If not by law, then by responsibility. If not by judgement, then by the justice forged through fervor. Thieves steal not from the homeless, but from possession. The mutual understanding of aggravations connects each and every one of us, yet never have we been farther apart. Hold onto your virtues, because when it comes time for action, we always leave some behind.
The foundation... Such brilliance, such irregularities, such... Fortune. The underlying choices of social mandates, yet I know. I know the way. The ballistic path to understanding, the fountain of youth to communication. It is with this understanding that I hold victory within my grasp, the falsehoods of enigmatic pariahs surround us in little more than shadowed visions of dementia, yet they hold no bar to my journey. No man can stand in my way, no barrier, no wall, no fortress of explainable thought may hinder me... At least not by choice. It are these choices that bind us, that force us into limitations that guide our every motion. Choose not to stand in my way, choose not to bar my path, but choose to live. Choose to embrace the possibilities, the abnormalities that cascade down this waterfall we call compromise. By choosing not to choose, by opening your mind to possibility, to limitlessness, you may stand before me. It is in this that you can finally see me, to bar my path if you wish... To see... The pedestal I sit upon. I await you
Many, many things have been going through my mind. A house of chaos announcing war upon the King, what to do about Stephen, and Dworkin being dead. Though none of this compared to what awaited me afterwards. Virgil took my newest toy, Avalon. How dare he. Not even a word! Just showed up when I wasn't around and took it from me. If only this was where his audacity ended, but he took Talwyn. How dare he. I didn't even care about Avalon anymore, I was going to rescue Talwyn, even if meant my life.
The march into Avalon was very... Different than I had expected. I came with an army, be it mostly containing dogs, bears, and watchmen, but an army none the less, or at least a very effective strike force. Some more of my cousins should up as we reached the borders of Avalon, last time I unknowingly help them. Here I was thinking they were going to help us, all they did was fly off after I took care of their spell casting problem. Weakness. It seems I still have some within me. No matter, it will be weeded out, I will not make the same mistake twice.
So many Gerrards, as if one wasn't terrifying enough. It would seem Virgil has some devastating tricks up his sleeve. I was informed later that they were indeed made from trump. Trump... Something I still understand very little about. James tried to educate me on it's basic workings, but I fear his meanings may have been lost on me. For something so REAL it certainly has many inconsistencies surrounding it. What with "Oh this isn't possible.". Oh why not? "Never mind, I just found out it is.". Oh... "No, I assure you, this is how things work.". Bah, I'll never understand it.
The thing that concerns me most is what happened in the Throne room of Avalon. Jubei... Was that really him? Or was it just another Trump construct like the Gerrards. He seemed quite confused later when I was speaking to him in Castle Amber. Never giving a completely straight answer, things can be difficult to concern. Well... As mother always said, don't trust something you can't utterly crush like a bug. I'm still trying to remember what meaning comes from that in this situation, I'm sure Talwyn would beat me for not knowing... Again.
The stand off with Virgil had concerned me to, I had been willing to fight to the death if to get back my mother, I had even went so far as to work with my brother... Damn... I still can't believe I did that. In the end, he seemed to have caved, giving back Talwyn and even her tome. Though I couldn't think what might have been going through his crazed head. But there still came the question... Was that really my mother? I posed this question to Oberon, he deemed until a time he could determine if it was indeed Talwyn, that she would be imprisoned for the safety of the kingdom. I had rarely ever been that angry. Not because of Oberon really, but because I was terrified of what Talwyn might do to me if it was indeed my mother. I always did vent my terror in anger.
Though... I was given her tome. That was the first time I had ever held it. If I prayed to some god or gods, I would have cursed in their names. I could understand after that why I'd never held it before. It was mine... For the time being. Still... I found a way to prove if she was indeed Talwyn or not. She was... Hooray!... It took all the cunning I had to convince her not to beat me to within an inch of my life. Also... She took back her tome, of course. It was nice for the time.
Though this brought me to my final task. Informing the king of transferring ruler-ship of Avalon to Virgil as he wished to claim his birth right. Unfortunately, the king informed me that he had taken away Virgil's rights over anything in the Golden Circle years ago. So I did the next best thing. Informed him of Virgil being my Adviser of Avalon and in my absence would make ruling decisions. Do not disappoint me Virgil. I have done what I can to give you safety from this. Though I will not hesitate to inform the king of a.... Mutiny. Alas... I write too much.
The moment Stephen brought that strip of cloth upon my gaze, every alarm fired off within my body. How dare he. It took all that I had not to slay him on the spot, he lets his age cloud him, using that smug arrogance as a shield. Well, I would not let him have his way, I will not show even a single ounce of weakness. He has made mistakes, more than he can count on his fingers I fear. It means nothing, I will simply move my plans farther ahead, though I must admit I had expected quite some time before they were put into action.
Then there are all the new family members. I have already chosen a favorite, Anna Lee. Though it may be unfair to the others, having not the chance to talk or get to know them. I did spend some hours giving Anna Lee a tour of the castle, talking with her of the family... Unfortunately. I must watch myself though, I always tend to spoil things I favor, she is family, thus my trust only goes so far.
The court mage... Dead they say. This does not bode well for anyone, stabbed through the chest, or so the PRAETOR says. I feel he is the culprit behind it, always mysterious, hiding behind his silly masks, acting like the world really cares whats underneath. Weakness. I can't stand weakness. The weak fall and the strong survive, the lessons I have been taught. Perhaps I will have to SPY on him some MORE.
I will say though, I enjoyed Schala's company, despite her outrage. She just let Stephen get under her skin is all, my guess is she will prove to be a valuable ally, or an enjoyable drinking companion at the least.
Sun Apr 21, 2013 3:02 pm
